For you, old friend

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It's no surprise that I struggled immensely last year with a lot of things. And while this year has been nothing short of fantastic, tonight I was reminded of something I haven't been doing. Something I've been painfully ignorant of in a while.

Counting my blessings. Choosing gratitude over disappointment. 

What prompted this, you may ask? 

Tonight, I found out that an old high school friend of mine that at one point, I was fairly close to but haven't spoken to in years was in a very serious accident. One that may be life threatening. No one really knows what the deal is yet. 

But I know that it scared me. That even though I am no longer close to this individual, it put the fear of God into me because it could happen to anyone. At any time. It's such a shock to think about someone you used to know lying in a hospital bed, hurting. You mourn for the person you once knew. You mourn for the person they are now, though you barely know them anymore. You mourn for the friends and family who are dealing with the tragedy and then you go back to your safe little bubble and hug the ones you love. 

I have never been very good at following rules and of course always doubted the "be thankful for what you have every day," theory. But, tonight, I'm a believer. Tonight, I am thinking about every single person who has touched my life and made an impact on me, because I thank you. I love you. 

There are so many things I could say right now, but none of them seem quite as adequate as letting the silence and my tears do the talking. Tonight, I am thankful for everything I have. For the people in my life and the blessings I have. 

And I'm thinking of you, old friend. And hoping that you'll pull through, because if anyone deserves it... you do. 

Thanks for teaching me a lesson I forgot I needed to remember. <3